


lit fam

by softelmax



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: But everything still happened, Crack Fic, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, M/M, Multi, Semi Canon Divergence, Set in modern day, Steve is a Mom, but no one will admit it or make the first move because they’re useless lesbians, for each other, max n el are gay, mike and will are gay too, not a single straight person in side lay teas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-07-28 06:23:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20059471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softelmax/pseuds/softelmax
Summary: “Steve H added Max M, Will B, Mike W, Lucas S, Jane H, and Dustin HSteve H named the chat “lit fam””i was bored and didn’t want to update my other fanfics so this was born. just another one of the 281937483 chat fics in wake of season 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is crack. y’all can suggest anything you want for the next chapter and i’ll happily write it OwO

Steve _H_ _added_ _Max_ _M_, _Will_ _B_, _Mike_ _W,_ _Lucas_ S, _Jane_ _Hopper_, _and_ _Dustin_ _H_

_Steve_ _H_ _named_ _the_ _chat_ “_lit_ _fam_”

Dustin H: why was i added last :(

Steve H: because you’re my favorite

Dustin H: :)

Dustin H changed Steve H’s name to “Mom”

Mom: Should i be insulted or flattered

Max M: yes

**Mom** **changed** **Dustin** **H’s** **name** **to** “**Babey**”

babey: okay yeah, fair

**Max M changed their name to “Disaster Dyke” **

Mom: Maxine Mayfield don’t you DARE speak to yourself that way

**Disaster Dyke changed their name to “lovely dyke” **

Mom: at least it progress

Mike W: jesus guys what did i come back to

Mike W changed their name to Dungeon Master

**Lovely Dyke changed Dugeon Master’s name to “garbage boi”**

garbage boi: :(

Lovely dyke: :)

Jane H: max be NICE

Garbage boi: of course jane only shows up when Max is bullying

Lovely Dyke: I am NOT bullying >:(

Steve: children, children. stop it or no allowance

Lovely Dyke: you don’t give us allowance. ur not our actual parent

babey: MAX

Mom: i am insulted. and my own child too

Lovely dyke: forgive me mom for you’re the only valid parent i have

Mom: >:(. ur annoying

Lovely dyke: i know

**Mom changed Lovely Dyke’s name to “Annoying” **

Annoying :(((((

Jane H: steve i’m going to break your neck

Mom: sorry for bullying your gf 🅱️lease let me keep my bones

Annoying: i’m not her gf snddnjssjdhdhsjsb

Lucas S: silence bottom

Jane H: what’s that

Mom: nOTHING PRAISE OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST AMEN

**Jane H changed Annoying’s name to “Lovely dyke” **

**Lovely dyke changed their name to ** **”Annoying” **

Annoying: i accept my title.

**Annoying changed Lucas S’s name to “stalker” **

stalker: you’re still not over that

Lovely dyke: you FOLLOWED me across town and trapped me in an arcade storage room

Stalker: it was for a good cause! 

Will B: guys stress and fighting isn’t good for the baby

Will B : i’m baby

Babey: no i am

**Will B changed their name to**

**”baby” **

babey: you can’t be baby, i’m babey

Annoying: this is the most stupid conversation i have ever had the misfortune to be apart of

Annoying: and i live with NEIL

babey: :(

baby: :(

**annoying changed babey’s name to “Nerd” **

Nerd: HEY


	2. Chapter 2

Mom: i think i need some backup

garbage boi: ?

baby: ?

annoying: ?

stalker: ?

nerd: ? 

Jane H: ?

**Mom added Robin H **

Robin B: sup fuckers

Annoying: sup, lesbian

**Mom changed Robin B’s name to “lesbian” **

Annoying: hEY. i wanted that name

lesbian: too baaaad

Annoying: steve tell her to be nice >:(

Mom: not even god himself can control robin

lesbian: no one can stop me, strange child friend >>:)

Jane H: guys stop fighting :(

Annoying: make me

lesbian: bottom

Annoying: wHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP CALLING ME TAHT

lesbian: taht

mom: taht

nerd: taht

stalker: taht

garbage boi: taht

Jane H: ???

annoying: no one loves me except for Jane

Jane H: i don’t love you, i’m just confused

annoying: :0!!

Jane H: why will no one tell me what a bottom is. is it like with bunk beds?

lesbian: AHAHAHSHSSBSB IM HAVING A STROKE

annoying: asshole

lesbian: i’m going to let max explain this one ;)))

annoying: WAIT JANE DOESNT HAVE A NICKNAME

lesbian: great way to dodge the subject dingus

lesbian changed Jane H’s name to “max’s gf”

max’s gf: wut

annoying: I HATE YOU ALL

annoying: not you jane, you’re doing amazing sweetie

mom: example A

**Annoying changed Jane H’s name to “soft”**

soft: i am tougher than i look you butt

stalker: say asshole, pussy

annoying: jane you cried over snakes two days ago

soft: THEY DONT HAVE ANY ARMS

Mom: yeah they do

soft: ????

annoying: steve what

mom: wait no

mom: never mind i was thinking about lizards

lesbian: dingus

mom: no u

lesbian: no u

mom: no u

lesbian: *uno reverse card*

mom: not fair

lesbian: :)

nerd: okay but is everyone going to ignore how Max and El are obviously in love with each other

annoying: yes

soft: .....what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor El doesn’t know what’s going on


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a refresher 
> 
> mom: steve  
lesbian: robin  
annoying: max  
soft: jane  
baby: will  
nerd: dustin  
stalker: lucas  
garbage boi: mike

**Mom added annoying, soft, and lesbian to the chat **

**Mom named the chat “squad”**

Mom: y’all

annoying: shut up

soft: wut

lesbian: :)

annoying: what’s that smile for

lesbian: excuse ME for being happy. not everyone is an emo fucker

annoying: fair

Mom: aNyWaYs

Mom: were all going to harass the poor fuckers that work at scoops and then see if we can sneak into the movies via your old route.

mom: y’all in?

annoying: hell yes

annoying: also since when are you southern

soft: hell yeah!!

annoying: jane you can SAY that. you’re baby

soft: am not >:(

lesbian: we could spend all day debating if jane is baby or not. let’s just agree that she is and move tf on

soft: :(((((

Mom: ANYWAYS

Mom: meet you guys at 4?

lesbian: yes

soft: ya

annoying: *long dramatic sigh* Fiiiine

lesbian: you may enjoy this more than you think ;)))

annoying: what the fuck are you talking about 

**Lesbian has logged out **

annoying: goddamnit

Mom: MWAHAHAHAHA

**annoying has logged out **

Mom: :(

*4:20 pm* 

annoying: guys it’s 4:20, where are you. jane and i are waiting

Mom: haha blaze it

annoying: StEVE

lesbian: okay so we’re both sick. extremely sick. icaught the flu that’s been going around in hawkins high and gave it to steve. we can’t make it sorry

annoying: we go to the same high school, there’s no flu going around it’s november.

lesbian: fuck

Mom: you guys aren’t sick yet, go on without us, you’re already here.

annoying: fine. let’s see if we can get into the passage without having people who used to work there

soft: that’s not a problem i can unlock it

Annoying: YEET

annoying:,,,,jane keeps giving me weird looks

soft: what is yeet

annoying: uhhhh

soft: use it in a sentence?

annoying: this bitch empty, YEET

soft: ?????

Lesbian: you guys are going to be late. movie is at 4:30

Annoying: O fucc

Annoying: bye

Mom: bye

lesbian: bye

lesbian: yessss. our plan worked! our two fave lesbians are in a date. the ship has sailed dingus

Annoying: ????

lesbian: oh fuck wrong person

**This message is no longer viewable because lesbian unsent it **

Lesbian: nvm

Annoying: i read part of the message

Annoying: and you DO realize that we can see when you’ve unsent something

lesbian: wait fuck i thought it was just on my screen

annoying: nope

annoying: jane is yelling at me to put my phone down for the movie, we’re not done with this.

**Mom made themself an admin **

**Mom deleted 9 messages from Annoying and Lesbian**

Mom: saved :)

lesbian: nice work dingus

**Annoying is active in “Lit Fam” **

_ **annoying is typing...** _

annoying: SNDNDHXHXJSJSJDHDJSSJSJ

Nerd: you good?

Annoying: guess what

stalker: what

Annoying: no u have to guess

Soft: :))))

Annoying: :))))

Mom: :)))

Lesbian :))))

garbage boi: please tell me you don’t need me to come bail you out

lesbian: not this time my strange little child friend

garbage boi: you know my name why do you always call me that

lesbian: so sorry, you’re right garbage boi

lesbian: anywayz max tell us your news and confirm how much of a genius i am

Soft: max is my girlfriend :)))

garbage boi: WHAT

garbage boi: the lesbian thing i’m fine with but MAX??? why, whatever happened to standards

Annoying: they dropped to the floor when you guys started dating

garbage boi is typing...

Soft: mike i see you typing and max please shut up. no fighting or else >:(

Annoying: or else what ;)

Lesbian: bottom

Mom: bottom

stalker: bottom

garbage boi: bottom

baby: bottom

nerd: bottom

Annoying: i AM NOT

Soft: why won’t anyone tell me what that is :((((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m having WAY too much fun writing this. i’m pretty sure absolutely no one wants this fic except for me but :). 
> 
> if y’all want more of my humor and childhood trauma references follow my instagram: @dyslexic.whore
> 
> Also i am still taking requests for chapter scenarios and i’m out of ideas so 🅱️LEASE


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no editing, we struggle to read my  
barely comprehensible writing like men

soft: hit or miss i guess they never miss huh

mom: okay who let jane get tiktok

Soft: you got a boyfriend i bet he doesn’t kiss ya

nerd: that meme is dead

nerd: it’s 2 am go to sleep

soft: but max is making eggos for us

lesbian: that’s gay

soft; you’re gay

lesbian: we’re all gay

lesbian: not a single straight person in sight lay teas

garbage boi: ....

nerd: ....

mom: ....

lesbian: there are no straight people my friends, only gays who don’t know it yet

lesbian: also mike we all know you’re gay as fuck

annoying: i leave for ONE second to make us waffles and i come back to you all fighting

lesbian: yup

garbage boi: wait you’re making eggos??

annoying: yes? do we have you’re approval, wheeler?

garbage boi: you can’t do that, that was OUR thing

annoying: isn’t it past your bedtime

garbage boi: isn’t it time you die

mom: okay i’m intervening now. y’all need to shut the fuck up

**Mom muted garbage boi **

annoying: :D

** _garbage boi sent a message, tap to view it _ **

annoying: i like this :)))

soft: oh my god

** _garbage boi sent a message, tap to view it _ **

** _garbage boi sent a message, tap to view it _ **

** _garbage boi sent a message, tap to view it _ **

annoying: this is so much better :)

**Mom ** **muted annoying**

soft: she’s going to beat you up at the arcade tomorrow 

mom: she’s 5’2 and 100 lbs soaking wet

mom:,,,,actually i fear the rage of max nvm

**Mom unmuted annoying **

annoying: a wise decision

**Mom unmuted garbage boi **

annoying: less wise decision 

soft: .....

soft: ...............

soft: ........................

annoying: u good babe

soft: ,,,,,,,

soft: hIT OR MISS, I GUESS THEY NEVER MISS HUH

baby: YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND

lesbian: I BET HE DOESN’T KISS YA

mom: MWAH 💋

** annoying has logged out  **

soft: :(((((

garbage boi: aren’t you guys in the same room rn

soft: i miss her anyways

garbage boi: that’s gay

soft: you’re gay

garbage boi: yeah

soft: wait what

**garbage boi logged out**

lesbian: guess it’s just you and me my strange little child friend 

**soft has logged out **

** _10:32 am_ **

* * *

** _garbage boi is active in “lit fam”_ **

** _garbage boi is typing..._ **

garbage boi: i have an announcement 

annoying: we don’t care 

soft: what is it

nerd: ? 

lesbian: spill 

baby: :))

** _garbage boi changed their name to “garbage bi” _ **

lesbian: omg hi other gae 

annoying: first of all congrats, i’m that wasn’t easy and we support you

annoying: second of all i still don’t like you 

annoying: not bc ur bi 

annoying: but because you’re annoying as fuck 

garbage boi: i make a nerve wracking confession and you start bullying me again 

annoying: someone’s gotta keep you humble 

_ **garbage boi changed the group name to “max’s bullying victims” ** _

annoying: fair 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire chapter is just everyone ganging up and bullying mike because i’m a salty lesbian. (also obviously max isn’t heartless and homophobic, in my fantasy world thing she and pretty much everyone else knew before hand)


	5. who’s idea was it to give max any kind of power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annoying: max  
Mom: steve  
Garbage bi: mike  
Soft: el  
lesbian: robin  
nerd: dustin  
stalker: lucas

from: Annoying to: Mom

Annoying is typing...

Annoying: make me an admin

Annoying: no you’ll abuse it

Annoying: please :(

Annoying: for your favorite child ??

Mom: first of all i hate all you shitheads so jot that down

Annoying: but you’re my favorite mom :(

Mom: hhhhh fine

Mom is active in max’s bullying victims...

Mom made Annoying an admin

Annoying: :))))))

Garbage bi: oh no

Annoying: oh yes

Garbage boi: steve do you know what you just did

Mom: ......probably a mistake

Annoying changed Garbage Bi’s name to “Bitch boy”

Annoying locked the renaming setting

Annoying removed Mom as an admin

Mom: WHAT

Mom: NO

Mom: SOMEONE NEEDS TO KEEP YOU IN LINE

bitch boy: you’ve given her too much power. it’s too late

Annoying: :D

Bitch boy: D:

Bitch boy: i’m telling jane

Annoying: :(

Bitch boy & soft

Bitch boy: Jane pls come control your girlfriend

Soft: what’d she do this time

Bitch boy: went power hungry and it currently controlling the chat.

Bitch boy: hence the username

soft: not even god himself can stop Max when she’s in this Mood™️

Both boy: try please. she won’t let me change my user

soft: fine

soft is typing in lit fam...

Annoying: oh god oh fu

soft: darling I love you but what the FUCK

Annoying: steve’s fault

Mom: in my defense i didn’t know she would take away MY admin privileges

soft: you should’ve

bitch boi: you should’ve

nerd: you should’ve

stalker: you should’ve

lesbian: you should’ve

annoying: you should’ve

annoying: is it my chaos or your lack of judgment that is to blame :)

soft: it’s calm down time

annoying: :(

soft: please :)

annoying: fine :(

soft: good. i love you

annoying: love you too :)

lesbian: what is this gay shit

annoying: your face

lesbian: :(

Mom: why does robin always come on just in time to roast ppl.

Lesbian: because you all suck

Mom: ;)

Lesbian: NO

Annoying removed Mom from the chat 

**Author's Note:**

> literally no one cares but i’ve been so slow updating all of my fics and i apologize, i just started both my  
first year of high school and my  
first year of public school in general (i was homeschooled my whole life).  
anyways leave suggestions on what you’d like on future chapters owo  
-clara ~awkwardtimelady~


End file.
